Oilers Letters to Santa... yes even hockey players believe

Published December 25, 2022 at 1:11 PM

Thanks to baggedmilk @OilersNation, he posted letters to Santa for the Oilers players in hopes that their second half of the season turns out better than the first half. Check it out...

Since I know you've been watching, I don't have to tell you that I've been a very good boy again in 2022, and that's why I'm asking for a few extra things this year. Not only am I leading the NHL in every statistical category that matters, but I'm doing it even though most of my teammates aren't really carrying their weight. For Christmas this year I would really like some of that depth scoring we've been talking about on an annual basis to take some of the pressure off of Leon and me. If you could find a way in your heart to make that happen I would be forever grateful. If that's not possible, just let me know and I will find a way to get even better than I already am.
Your Friend, Connor

Lieber Weihnachtsman,
Hallo herr, Weihnachtsmann, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter. If I'm being honest, I'm pretty good with everything that's happening on the ice but could use a little help with the local media. For some reason, I can't hide when I'm pissy and now that everyone knows I give the best answers on this team whenever I have a mic in my face, even I don't know what I'm going to say next. That's why I'm asking for an extra dose of wit this Christmas so that I can have the perfect quote in my mind at any given time while also helping the fine kids at Oilersnation sell t-shirts whenever that happens.
Danke, Leon.

Dear, Santa!
It's me, Ryan but my friends call me Nuggy. I'm finally having the kind of season that everyone hoped I would and even though I'm super stoked on it, can you stop this weirdo named Baggedmilk from crying outside of my house every night? I mean, he's a nice guy and all, and I always appreciate the way he told everyone to keep me forever, but the unannounced visits and edible arranges have to stop. Nobody can eat that much fruit. If you could help me out with this then it would allow me to remain focused on the task at hand, keep myself at a point-per-game pace and finally bring the Stanley Cup back to Edmonton. They'll probably build a statue of me and I could put it with the horse at the RNH Stables.
Thank you very much, RNH.

Rakas Joulupukki!
I don't know what I did to tick the Hockey Gords off this year, but enough is enough, don't you think? I've been playing hard and working my pallokassi off but I just can't get anything to stick with any regularity. To make matters worse, the stress from this goal thing is causing me to lick my left eyebrow clean off my face and I don't think I need to explain to you why having only one eyebrow is not the look to strive for. If you could do me a favour and get this monkey off my back then I would be forever grateful. Maybe then my value can rise high enough so to either be appreciated for the player I am in Edmonton or traded to another market that will give me a fresh start.
Jesse, And yup!

Dear Santa,
Is there a way that you can help me forget that I make $9.25 million for a minute without actually stopping the cheques from hitting my bank account? I'm playing a little bit tight right now, and maybe it might help if I still think that I make $3 million. Remember, don't stop the cheques from coming in, only the pressure that's attached to them.

To Santa,
You know what I want, and you know what the whole city expects from me. I don't have to say it. Please. Help.

While the woes of the Oilers may be concerning fans, be aware that after 32 games last season they were 18-12-2. They proceeded to go 31-10-4 to finish the season with a 49-22-6 record. There's STILL HOPE!

December 25   |   198 answers
Oilers Letters to Santa... yes even hockey players believe


Yes6532.8 %
No4321.7 %
It's just for the kids4924.7 %
Hey if McDavid does, I sure do!4120.7 %
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